How to Stop Self-Sabotage: Reclaiming Your Energy and Well-being
Self-sabotage is a widespread issue that hinders personal and professional goals. In the latest episode of the Menopause Mastery Podcast, Dr. Betty Murray delves into the origins of self-sabotage, offering useful strategies for overcoming it. Here’s a closer look at the insights and tools she discusses to help you regain your balance and well-being.

The “Picking Up the Monkey” Metaphor
Dr. Murray references a Harvard Business Review article to illustrate the metaphor of “picking up the monkey,” where a middle manager handles tasks meant for subordinates. This represents the unnecessary burdens many of us place upon ourselves. Women, in particular, often take on extra responsibilities at work and home, leading to burnout and a sense of inadequacy.
Introducing Estrobalance Mastery
Dr. Murray introduces Estrobalance Mastery, a supplement designed to ease perimenopausal symptoms such as hot flashes, night sweats, and cognitive issues. Containing DIM, Crisan, flaxseed extract, green tea extract, broccoli sprout compounds, and milk thistle, it supports women through hormonal changes. Made in an FDA-inspected facility, this product serves as a vital tool for women needing relief.
Traditional Gender Roles and Their Pressures
Dr. Murray reflects on traditional gender roles, explaining how women have historically managed multiple tasks, a trend that continues today. This “satelliting” around central responsibilities often means sacrificing personal needs, leading to depleted energy reserves. Reassessing your commitments and delegating tasks can help in reclaiming your energy.
Evaluating Energy Output for Balance
Understanding your energy output and how much is returned is crucial. Creating a list of daily tasks to identify unnecessary burdens can help conserve energy. Say no to tasks that don’t benefit your well-being and focus more on self-care activities that recharge you.
Understanding Decision Fatigue and Willpower Gaps
Self-sabotage frequently results from layering negative actions due to decision fatigue. Dr. Murray explains the brain’s different decision-making processes: the logical frontal lobe versus the emotionally-driven limbic system. When willpower depletes, the limbic system takes over, leading to comfort-seeking behaviors like excessive snacking and social media use.
Top-Down vs. Bottom-Up Processing
Top-down processing involves making logical decisions, while bottom-up processing relies on emotional inputs. Recognizing when you’re fatigued and prone to bottom-up processing helps in planning better decision strategies, like automating routine tasks to conserve mental energy.
Energy Bodies and Physical Expansion
Dr. Murray introduces the concept of the “energy body,” explaining how expanding responsibilities metaphorically increase energy bodies, sometimes leading to physical weight gain. Managing these “energetic backpacks” can help you feel more grounded and achieve fitness goals.
Communicating and Addressing Issues
Effective communication is critical. Avoiding difficult conversations drains willpower and increases stress. Confronting unresolved issues and holding others accountable reduces your own stress, allowing for better energy management.
Fostering Self-Care and Well-being
Dr. Murray concludes by urging listeners to engage with her on social media for more content on improving life quality during menopause. Continual personal reflection and growth help avoid decision-making pitfalls. Applying these insights to your life will help reclaim lost energy and focus on what truly matters.
By addressing the areas where you’re “picking up the monkey,” you can focus on what’s essential, ensuring better well-being and achieving your goals. Prioritizing tasks, managing decision fatigue, and fostering open communication will create a more balanced life, allowing you to thrive even during challenging times.





